Particular Wants Parenting Is So Exhausting
The only thing we all know about parenting is that we really don’t know anything. Sure, there are books out there with all kinds of advice, but when it comes down to it there are no real “rules” and most of us just fly blindly, find out, and make mistakes almost every step of the way. For parents of children with special needs, however, the stakes are 10 times higher. Feelings of guilt, stress, and fear of making mistakes are heightened, and to top it all off, these parents are crippled by a different kind of loneliness.
Parents of special needs children are a strong AF as they face challenges that the rest of us cannot imagine. If this sounds like you – the lack of sleep, the fears of the future, the insurmountable debt, and the feeling that no one understands your life, read these confessions. There are parents out there who have similar battles and feel the same exhaustion as you.
You may not feel like it, but you are a good parent. And you are not alone.
There is never a quiet, easy day when you can just take a deep breath. There is a new challenge around every corner and expect the unexpected.
Confessional # 25773855
If I didn’t have children, I wouldn’t care what was going on in the world. But I have two guys with special needs so I’m fucking stressed out! I hope whatever happens brings us together.
Confessional # 25768322
Single mother. Had to quit my job today. My parents are getting old and can no longer help me with my disabled child. Feel so alone What should I do now?
Confessional # 25750817
We’re so broke that I have to take a job in the evenings and on weekends in addition to homeschooling my special needs child and my 3 year old. I’m almost 40. What is my life like?
So so tired. Parents of children with special needs face loneliness and exhaustion that no one else understands.
Confessional # 25755646
Special Needs DS8 is still sleeping with me … .. he never leaves my side. It’s a good day when I can be in another room for a few minutes. Makes me crazy but I love it
The story goes on
Confessional # 24401713
Between helping my SS with navigating his mother, who has a textbook narcissistic personality disorder, and my own child with special needs, I experience intense compassion fatigue. I’m tired of always having to fight for others. I just want some rest.
Confessional # 25773719
Please inform the universe that my dog will be released before Monday. If he keeps going to work, he will surely catch it (and pass it on to us) and likely die because he is older and has health problems. Children have special needs, we need them.
And people always say stupid shit. They don’t understand this life, so hurtful and insensitive things keep flying out of their mouths.
Confessional # 24714311
Being a SAH parent is not always a luxury; It’s a necessity because we have children with special needs and we have to go to dates and meetings and try to help our kids be functional people and not assholes. Stop pretending you know about a life you are not living!
Confessional # 23870794
I’m in a development center for children with special needs, waiting for a therapy appointment for my daughter. I feel better understood here than with my own husband.
Confessional # 25058268
Yes DH I have changed. I’m not a 22-year-old whose main concern is getting drunk this weekend. I am a 36 year old special needs mother with a stressful career and mortgage. Do you want to get laid more? Share the weight of our lives without me asking you!
Judgment is constant, of our own families and of strangers in society.
Confessional # 22785998
It is so frustrating that close relatives cannot understand that DS is not misbehaving because of lack of discipline or bad manners. Yes, I heard you, he “looks normal” ugggggggh. Fuck it all.
Confessional # 25774361
I don’t want our 14 year old DD with special needs to live with us forever. My DH does. I need to know that one day I’ll have freedom.
Confessional # 25763651
Both of my children have autism. I can’t stand being around typical kids anymore, even nieces and nephews. Parents with special needs are much more attuned to their children’s behavior, parents of typical kids just let them run wild, and they’re damn annoying!
Parents of children with special needs need a safe place to be able to say “This is difficult” and “I am struggling” without judgment. You need to be around other parents who are getting it. And she and her children need kindness and grace.
Confessional # 23720853
I can’t do everything. My special needs children are a full time job and I have a full time job and 2 other children. I’m drowning. I can’t keep up with every need.
Confessional # 23695641
I’m so tired of being broke. I quit my job to look after a child with special needs. Too many bills and too little money! We shouldn’t be complaining because we have homes, food, and healthy children, but Lord, I need a break soon.
Confessional # 25061196
Every time I read a feel-good viral story about how kind HS kids were to their special needs classmates, I feel cynical and can’t believe it. Where the hell were those lovely kids when my sweet son was shunned and ostracized for being socially awkward?
The fear of abandoning our children with special needs keeps us up all night. It eats up our soul. Even if we do our best, is it ever enough?
Confessional # 25755863
I wonder when my son will find out that I’m usually high when I’m in a good mood and having fun. Chronic pain sucks. As a single mother of a special needs child with chronic pain, you will need some weed for this.
Confessional # 25762928
When will I ever feel like I am doing enough to help my special needs child thrive?
Confessional # 25643815
My special needs child is self injuring and having terrible tantrums. I am a failure as a mother …..
Hopefully, if you can find yourself in these confessions, it will give you some respite on your toughest, hardest, most stressful days. Days when you worry about your child’s future. Days when others judge you. Days when you wish you could run away All of the things you feel are normal, so try to take a breath and see what a great parent you are. You can do it.
See the original article on ScaryMommy.com