How I Feed Off the Vitality
Every morning I take one pill that makes the average person feel like they are using cocaine. Then I have an espresso for breakfast to really wake myself up (and because I never seem to learn). Then I ride my motorcycle way too fast through one of the busiest cities in the world. If I can ever really relax, it feels like I’m doing something wrong. Or worse, I risk getting bored, which is the worst of all.
My mother once described me as “a bit of a whirlwind”. She is right. It’s not always my fault and I have no idea how it usually happens (or if the poor woman can ever sleep thanks to me), but there’s just a little mess stuck to my coat that everyone else I know stays away from.
For example, I was recently pushed off my motorcycle and dragged under the wheels of a car by a woman who tried to keep going with me underneath (I was standing and on my side of the street). During this time I also started a new job, quitting my old one (recruiting a friend to replace me), making an offer for my very first apartment, taking on a mortgage as a freelance writer (I get over the crash every day ), moved to another buddy across London, took care of all the insurance related to the crash, found and organized new bikes during the UK fuel crisis and got a second date with someone who was very calm really nice.
I didn’t mention the crash to my friends this week because I had my birthday parties that weekend (which I also organized).
But that’s how life goes – great ups and downs – all in just one week in September. It’s stressful, but that’s how life is and has always been for me – and that’s not always bad.
[Read: Unraveling the Mysteries of Your ADHD Brain]
The pulse of the ADHD chaos within us
ADHD chaos is more than a messy room or a double booked schedule or a hideously untidy inbox and an intense chat history that reads like a budget telenovela script. It’s part of us. It is this pulse of fear and tension that drives us to overcome and be more.
There are times when it is hard to avoid anger. Usually this problem doesn’t make sense, so we analyze and obsess over every mistake. We grind our intense energies (and our self-esteem and self-esteem) in the dirt looking for answers that may not even be about us. Ultimately, we can look like we’re rarely in full control, but that’s not always true. Life is sometimes full of potholes that we can’t see like most people can.
ADHD Chaos is a naughty puppy
Over the years I’ve found that Chaos is a recalcitrant puppy who adopted me as a kid, rather than the other way around. Chaos has its own unpredictable spirit. It’s always loud and annoying and tries to poke or bite me every time I need a bit of rest. When it gets a little busy, I often try to dump it on my parents and friends, just like a real puppy.
But I would honestly miss Chaos if it ever left my life completely. It has been consistent and loyal to me, and I’ve slowly learned to accept and sometimes even love my chaos for what it is – even if it unexpectedly rips apart my new apartment, my new job, all my toil and the work Things and people i love.
[Read: ADHD Hyperactivity Doesn’t Stop in Childhood]
But in my experience, Chaos can be taught to sit on command. You can cope with it because you have ADHD.
Those infected with ADHD have smiled in the devil’s face so many times that he became quite dear to us (which explains a lot). In the end, we have these exciting lives full of abnormal action, big and varied dreams, drama, pain, exhilaration, romance, travel, chaos, great accomplishments and confusion. We are never short of anecdotes (and tell them we usually will all at once) and if we ever stop thinking about the past month we can find that our lives are objectively far from boring, even on bad days .
As we all know, puppy chaos doesn’t rest for long. We have no choice but to keep learning to mitigate and cope with the uncomfortable, embarrassing, and frightening situations it keeps getting us into. We get up, dust ourselves off, clean the puppy droppings from the walls, pretend we’re going to fix the broken vase properly tomorrow, add another scar to the collection, and move on.
And when our friends find themselves in similarly chaotic situations, there is no one who can lead them better than us – when we have finished them to show that they are not alone and of course, listen.
Life is often exhausting, sometimes unnecessary, but no longer always frightening. It’s just that our naughty little pup keeps getting us into trouble and neither we nor he can help.
My Messy Life With ADHD: The Next Steps
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