Constructive Parenting Ideas That Teaches Good Habits
In 1920 the Viennese psychiatrists Alfred and Rudolf Dreikurs argued that a child’s relationships with their family contribute significantly to their personal development. They argued that if parents gave in to their children too much, or were too revealing or dominant (and emotionally disappointing), it would lead to an inferiority in children and their perception of “how they belong in their family dynamics”.
Positive parenting is based on the assumption that the desire to do right is innate in children. It emphasizes the importance of mutual respect and the use of positive directions for discipline. This parenting style focuses on teaching future parents positive behavior rather than punishing past wrongdoings.
Modern parents profess more gentle upbringing principles than their parents raised them. Positive rather than punitive discipline enables an upbringing that reflects the values and beliefs of the family. Parenthood is not a uniform situation. Positive parents understand their children’s needs, stage of development, and temperament.
Below is a list of positive parenting tips for teaching good behavior.
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Show affection to your children
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According to the Centers for Disease Control and Development, a child’s first years of life are critical to healthy development, meaning children of all abilities, including children with special needs, can grow up where their social and emotional needs are met. Having a safe, loving home and spending time together playing, singing, reading and talking promotes healthy development and promotes a positive worldview in children.
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Help your children develop a sense of responsibility
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Have your children help with household chores. They can help you with shopping, cooking, and washing. When your child participates in household activities that bring the family together, such as setting the table during meals. Tasks that affect them personally or help maintain a healthy household teach independence. Your child can be proud that they are considered mature enough to take on this responsibility.
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Talk to your child about respect for yourself and others
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Encourage your child to treat others the way they would like to be treated. Because children repeat what they see at home, parents can lead by example. If your child sees you helping someone in need, they will likely mimic this behavior. It is also important to teach your child to stand up for themselves and not be more humane. He or she should know that doing the “right thing” isn’t always popular. Participating in team sports or community groups, or pursuing volunteer services, develops empathy and other positive behaviors in children.
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Discipline gently
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You don’t have to be mean to take it seriously. A firm and calm no works just as well, if not better, than a loud, aggressive no. you can be tough when it comes to setting boundaries and enforcing consequences so your child knows what to expect and how to make good decisions.
According to Dr. Jane Nelson, a licensed marriage and family therapist and child counselor, takes punishment to the four ‘r’s who fail to help children learn: resentment, rebellion, revenge, and withdrawal. Usually punishment does not stop bad behavior, nor does it teach good behavior. She says that parents are not making the right use of the time off for children. Time off is not intended as a punishment as it isolates and restricts the child’s movement, making the child more punishing. Time outs are meant to remove a child from an overstimulatory environment that evokes the behavior and move it to a non-reinforcing location to calm down and feel safe. Time-in, which emphasizes connection rather than isolation, was invented by some parents as an alternative to time off. Research shows that children who feel connected to their parents are more likely to follow their instructions.
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Be clear and consistent
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Your child should understand the consequences of violating limits before enforcing them. In addition, you should be consistent and follow them. Without consistency, there will be confusion and your child will test or challenge the limits to see how far they can go. Don’t make blank threats to reduce screen time if you don’t plan on pulling them off.
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Help your child set SMART, achievable goals
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Recognizing your child’s special skills and interests can help you set goals for your child. Ask your child what they would like to achieve or what they would be proud of to develop ideas together. Your child may express a desire to read more – teach them to set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely goals. Instead of reading more, you and your child can set a specific number of books to be read by a certain time. For example, reading three books by the end of the month.
Your child will be less likely to rely on the approval of others when they are determined to achieve their goals.
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Praise your child
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Acknowledge your child’s good behavior. It is always best to focus praise on what your child does (“You worked really hard to find this out!”) Rather than on traits they cannot change (“You are smart”) and encourage Help him or her solve problems, such as disagreements with other children, on their own.
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Get involved in your child’s school
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Getting to know the teachers and staff at your child’s school enables you to understand their learning goals and behavioral expectations of your child. It also provides an opportunity to work with the school and your child to help them succeed.
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Benefits of positive parenting
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Children of positive parenting are reported to have higher school performance, fewer behavioral problems, better self-esteem and mental well-being, and a closer parent-child relationship.
Sources: www.gloucestershire.gov.uk, Centers for Disease Control and Development, momentumlife.com, Positive Discipline, Parenting From The Heart, Parents.com, Child Mind Institute
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About the author
Renee Barrett
(78 published articles)
Renee was born in Brooklyn, grew up in Toronto, Ontario and currently lives on Boogie Down! She is a writer, podcaster and mother of beautiful twins. She has a Masters degree in Child Rearing and Political Science. You can follow her blog @ momchairphilospher.com and her podcast “The Politics of (My) Life” @ https://www.buzzsprout.com/1204040/episodes.
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