7 Coping Methods for Elevating Youngsters with ADHD
Increase in ADHD Children and Computer Crashes?
Just hours after Steve Jobs died, my Mac decided it couldn’t live without him. That’s loyalty! Since it was the morning before the Jewish Day of Atonement, I took it as a sign to slow down and get ready. I’ve made up my mind to take the time and space to think and make the best of the situation.
As I went through the next two days, I confess that I felt a little distracted. I couldn’t stop thinking about my computer. It took my IT guy (aka my husband) hours to try and restore the data!
When “no news” came to me, I asked my spouse to pretend we had a sick child and tell me what he wanted to hear from the doctor. I took a few deep breaths and tightened myself, reminding myself that I could handle anything that happened. The answer was both clear and confused – hard drive failure, OS incompatibility, data recovery, more ideas to try, tech support, yada yada yada.
I tried to process everything, but I always thought, “Something is really wrong with my computer. Is this really happening? “Then the logistics began to flow through my brain – deadlines, dollars, and details. My focus shifted from my broken computer to the potential impact on me … will I be able to work on Monday? What if we do.” lost the pictures from our trip to Spain? And so it went.
Then it hit me: the conversation on my computer reminded me of the day my oldest child was diagnosed with ADHD. No joke.
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ADHD teaches resilience
We sat across from the psychologist who gave us all kinds of important information about our precious child. All I could think was, “Wow, there’s really something going on with my kid!” My brain went through many perspectives: logistics, denial, etc. I really have no idea what the good doctor told us that day. It took me months to really come to terms with the fact that I was raising a child with ADHD – and years to really come to terms with it.
So why am I bothering to tell you this?
Raising children with ADHD has taught me to expect the unexpected and to deal with major breakthrough events with relative calm. You could say it taught me resilience.
New information – such as a child’s diagnosis or a crashed computer – changes a playing field. As parents, dozens of thoughts arise when we learn about a child’s ADHD. All of them are natural, and many deserve attention. One perspective worth considering, although we hesitate to do so, is “What about me?” We often deny that we even think of ourselves at a time like this, but it is a valid and important consideration.
In fact, the attention we give ourselves is likely to help make us more resilient. Dealing with our own “stuff” gives us all sorts of leeway to deal with what is happening in our family without getting in the way.
So what do you think and think about the new rules of the parent game? How do you wanna play it Your relationship with your child’s ADHD is important, and the sooner you think about it, the better. As parents, if you take care of yourself, you will be best placed to look after your children. Your perspective on ADHD is crucial to you.
I’ve come a long way since my early days of discomfort. I’ve learned a lot about myself and changed the way I react to surprising information. Ironically, I owe all of this to ADHD. So here are some life lessons I learned from raising ADHD children:
7 Coping Strategies From Life On The ADHD Roller Coaster
- “And me?” is not necessarily a selfish question. (It can’t change my answer, but it helps understand perspective.)
- It’s not worth being an alarmist. This type of fear subsides and does not replenish. (Deep breaths restore balance.)
- I can only control what is in my control. Trying to control everything else only leads to stress. (The serenity prayer takes on a whole new meaning.)
- I am resourceful and can find another way if I choose to seek it. (I always say, “Motherhood is the necessity of invention.”)
- Whatever happens, I’ll handle it. When I complain, everyone tends to be happier, including me. (Rules of positivity.)
- Be prepared for anything and hold back judgment if “anything” happens. (i.e. make BACK-UP plans and don’t blame anyone if you have to use them.)
- Always remember my sense of humor. (Don’t take life so seriously, prefer laughter to tears.)
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade out of them
While my IT man in the other room (thank you, honey) was constantly working to collect my data again, I had to find out about the direct connection that I discovered between bringing up ADHD children and calmly dealing with the surprises of the Smile on life. Imagine: The most turbulent part of my life – an ADHD family of 5 – brought me the gift of constancy and calm! Imagine that. Guess it’s time to think about what I think about it too!